Saturday, June 20, 2009

Forever Yours 17 -Finale-

I just wanted to thank all the people who read my story for their support. I hope you all like this part, hopefully there will be a new story soon.



“There’s no one other than you and there never was” he said softly, his words hinted at much more.

This coming from Ghaith was a huge deal.
I stared at him for what seemed like hours, our eyes locked.
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, I heard a knock at the door.
Ghaith quickly got up, I’m sure he thought it was something to do with his father.
It gave me time to think of what he said, I was now surer than ever of my growing feelings for Ghaith and his words gave me the confidence to act on them. But I had a plan and in order for it to work, I needed time to prepare. I jumped into bed and acted asleep so I could avoid Ghaith’s inquiring eyes.

The next day I got up really early and went to meet Dalal at her apartment. I needed her help to get the courage to go though with my plan. It involved lingerie shopping which I had never done before and I was too intimidated by those shops to go in there by myself.
The first shop we went to was full of beautiful things but I didn’t feel comfortable buying anything from there, it wasn’t the style I was looking for too dark and exotic for me. I wanted something more innocent. Dalal didn’t approve of my ideas and she insisted I buy a few things which I blushed just looking at. I wasn’t innocent to these things but the image of Ghaith seeing me in them was too much for me to handle at the time.
“You’ll thank me later 7abeebty you’ll see” Dalal said with a wicked grin on her face.
“Yallah let’s go somewhere else so I can find what I want” I said dragging her away from the leather corsets, that she would have to kill me to wear.

“This is perfect” I sighed, as I looked at myself in the mirror. It was a gorgeous cream nightgown, with a lacy but sculpted top and lace all down the sides, but the rest was creamy silk and it had a lace trimmed slit that came the whole way up one leg. Dalal chose matching stockings which made my legs looks infinitely longer. I was happy with the result, smiling at myself in the mirror.

The next step was picking out a gorgeous outfit, Dalal completely took over in this part picking out a gorgeous burgundy top and a long flowy skirt to match, it was not something I would pick but looked gorgeous when I put it on, she just stared at me with a raised eyebrow daring me to say something bad about her choice.
“Wallah Dalal I don’t know what I would do without your help, you’re like my fashion fairy godmother.”
“Aaaaw Deema you’re going to make me cry and ruin my makeup now” She said hugging me, it was great to have such a selfless friend. Too bad it took me so long to find one.

The next step was setting the whole night up, I called Reem and found out she was on a trip with her parents and that they were spending a few days in the town where her father studied, and they wanted to be away from the city for a while to relax before their trip to the states.
This was the perfect opportunity, I was for once taking control of things and it felt great.
I went back to the apartment and set everything up in Ghaith’s room and locked it so he wouldn’t ruin the surprise. I knew he was in college and I sent him a message to meet me at the restaurant where he first took me to dinner all those months ago. I felt nervous waiting for him; I was trying not to sit there staring at the door. What if he doesn’t show up? What if he thinks I’m stupid or desperate? What if he rejects me? I wondered for the millionth time closing my eyes and trying to control my racing heart, Calm down Deema and just breathe.
“Deema are you ok?” Ghaith asked and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me worriedly.
“Halla Ghaith, no I’m fine” I said plastering a smile on my face.
He sat down but continued to stare at me quizzically.
“Ghaith I invited you here so that we would get a chance to talk about things between us. I have some things to say and I want you to hear me out first” I said, he was staring at me intently so I stared at my entwined fingers, trying not to blush.
“Awalan when we first came here I can tell you honestly that I wasn’t looking for a relationship with you and I didn’t see you in that way, maybe because I’m young or because I thought you and my friend were a couple” I took a few deep breaths to calm down, he reached over and covered my hands with his hand.
So I sat there staring at his masculine hand, so tanned and huge next to mine. I felt protected and safe.
“Ghaith I found myself caring for you more and more each passing day but I didn’t understand. I’ve never been in love before” I said staring at him “I Love you Ghaith and I want to be your wife”
He stared at me intently and a huge grin broke out on his face, he looked so relieved.
“Deema yananteenee! I thought you wanted to leave or something, I mean last night you totally blew me off and left me sitting there like a fool I wanted to kill you!”
“7abeebee I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you but I wanted this moment to be perfect!” I said pouting. I was so relieved that everything was out in the open now.
“Intee ou afkarech” he said, squeezing my hands tightly.
I smiled shyly at him; he had no idea about the rest of my plans.

When we got to the apartment I went into the room and locked the door after me. I tried to get everything ready quickly but my hands were shaking, this was the first night where I took a risk with Ghaith but I wanted it to be just right since it was the first day of our life as a married couple.
I stood by the door taking a last look at my handiwork, the candles glow softly lit up the room and the bouquets’ of roses and rose petals everywhere made it look like a magical place. My hair was open and I was dressed in the nightgown but I tried not to think of that too much since it made me blush like crazy although I felt confident that I looked good in it.
Ghaith’s soft knock on the door pulled me out of my daydream.
I opened the door unsure of what he would think; he took a long look into the room and an even longer look at me and then he pulled me into his arms…

Two months later

As we took a stroll in the streets of Paris, the city of love, I fell even more in love with my husband Ghaith. It was the New Year and I felt this was a new beginning to our lives, the two months that passed were the happiest of my life, and it was as if I was floating on a cloud.
I remembered how even Ghaith’s mum noticed when they came back to London before their flight that things were different between us.
“So I guess there will be no more sleeping on the couch for my son” she said, pinching my arm, but in a joking way.
I blushed and laughed softly, this was beyond embarrassing, I wanted to curl up and hide.
“Yallah now I’m waiting for my grandchildren” she said “don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

“7abeebty what are you thinking of?” Ghaith asked, as I struggled to match his stride as we walked.
“Your mother” I said laughing.
“I bring you here to the most romantic city in the world and you think of my mother?” he stared at me with a fake-hurt expression.
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“A7ibek!” I said, wrapping my arms around him. I could feel his laughter as he squeezed his arms around me.
“I love you too, Wallah I love you” he said softly into my ear, holding me like he never wanted to let go.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Forever Yours 16

I was waiting for Manal when she got to the café so I could see all the appreciative looks she got, I felt so insecure next to her gorgeousness, Images of her and Ghaith together kept rushing through my head like a bad dream.
“Deema you look great” She said, she looked surprised at my new look. Thank god I was wearing a hot outfit, Skinny jeans, killer heels, a turquoise belted cream dress. I looked natural unlike her bleached blondness. I felt a little more confident now that I could see her eyeing me up like I was competition. I knew her so well that I understood her look from a mile away.
“So you didn’t tell me what are you doing here?” I asked, I couldn’t remember the last time there was an awkward silence between Manal and I.
“Well I decided to study in the US after all” she said “AUS wasn’t what I expected”
I knew there were things she was keeping from me but I didn’t want to pry.
“Deema I miss our friendship” she said pouting.
I smiled but I felt a lump in my throat, I remembered the stupid fight we had before she left for the summer, who knew things would turn out this way.
“Manal I feel bad too but I think it’s for the best, now that Ghaith and I are married” I didn’t want to sound like I was showing off but I needed to remind her what the problem was.
She stared at me, playing with her cup of tea.
“Deema I need to tell you something about what happened, I want to start a new page in my life and I don’t want to leave anything unfinished. Ghaith and I were never a couple, he was never interested in a relationship with me and that hurt. I was never rejected before and I don’t know why I lied to you but…”
“Manal are you serious?” It was like someone had dumped an ice cold bucket of water on my head.
She looked down and nodded “Bas he told me he loved someone in the UK and that’s why I was so shocked when you said you were getting married”
I didn’t know if this was one of her lies or the truth, anyway I knew that she was trying to cause problems.
“Manal the past is the past, don’t you think we should be grown ups about this, I mean it’s kid of pathetic”
“You’re calling me pathetic, intee il pathetic ilay tdawreen my leftovers” she said curling her lip in disgust.
I plastered a smile on my face although I wanted to slap her badly.
“Shaklee ana I was wrong to come here in the first place” I said getting up to leave.
“Deema please don’t, you're my only true friend”
“Bas shaklech you were never a friend to me” I said as I walked out of the café, silent tears streaming down my face, was I that desperate all these years thinking Manal was a real friend to me.

When I got to the apartment I wasn’t in the mood to face anyone but I couldn’t just escape to my room so I sat there with the family, faking laughs and smiles all night. When I finally went to the room I was exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions. Dalal sent me a couple of messages asking if I was ok but I wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything. I changed into my short sleeved Betty Boop pjs, wore a robe and sat in the balcony so I could get some fresh air. I felt suffocated and tired, Ghaith came in to the room a while later and was staring at me strangely so I just smiled at him.

He came and sat on the chair next to me and lit up a cigarette.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, he looked like he was ready to pick a fight with someone for me.
“Nothing it’s just ...” I wasn’t sure if I should bring up Manal, afraid I would ruin his mood.
“Listen I’ll know if you’re lying and I don’t want you to hide anything from me so whatever it is tell me I won’t judge” He was staring at me intently.
“It’s Manal, she called me up saying she wanted to meet up. Before you say anything I went. I regret it and I realize now that she was never the friend I hoped she was”
“Deema I don’t know what she told you but I think you need to know there was nothing between us” He reached put and held my hand in his.
“I know” I said sighing tiredly “she told me but she also said something about you and a girl in the UK but I don’t care. It just hurt coming from her”
“There’s no one other than you and there never was” he said softly, his words hinted at much more.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Forever Yours 15

An agonizing two hours later Ghaith got home, he looked relieved but I could see his parents weren’t with him.
“Ubooyah is fine el7imdillah, its just he had a reaction to something he ate today, he’s spending the night at the hospital and my mum insisted she stay there with him” he said as he sat down in the living room.
“El 7imdillah 3ala salamtah but I’m afraid of what your mum will say after she saw me on the couch.” I said, dreading the conversation with her on that subject.
“Don’t worry I told my mum you were cold and pulled the blanket to warm up while you were reading” he said, he looked so tired. I’m guessing he didn’t sleep well because of the room situation.
“Sorry Ghaith a7es inee I’m such a burden to you these days” I said.
“La bel3aks Deema don’t say that wujoodech here makes everything worth it”
I had a little “Aaaaw” moment when he said that, Ghaith could be such a gentleman sometimes.
“At least now I don’t have to go shopping with my mum” he said grinning.
I narrowed my eyes and hit him gently on his arm, knowing it wouldn’t hurt him.
That night was easier to sleep since we were both exhausted, thankfully I woke up on the couch and Ghaith was still snoring in his sleep. I got dressed and I knew I had to wake him so he could go to his father, I gently prodded his shoulder but he wouldn’t wake up.
“Ghaith … Ghaith wake up”
No response.
I knew his parents would worry if he was late so I couldn’t just leave him here, I pushed his shoulder a little stronger this time but still there was no response. I sat on the corner of the bed prepared to call his mother and tell her that Ghaith was asleep when I felt an arm snake around my waist, WTH! What is he doing?
I tried to get up but he just pulled me closer and nuzzled my neck I was now laying next to him like a frozen statue.
“Good morning Deema” He said grinning.
I realized that he was just messing with me and wasn’t asleep at all.
“Ya 7mar at7arak raged” I shrieked, blushing furiously.
He was laughing hysterically, I was about to hit him when he grabbed my wrist and I used the other arm to balance myself.
Suddenly I was so close to him I could see the tiny golden flecks in his eyes, God his lashes were gorgeous.
My heart was racing and I knew at that moment that if he kissed me I wouldn’t resist. I closed my eyes and could feel his breath on my face.
“9aba7 el Khaaaair”
It was Reem’s voice but what was she doing here? it didn’t matter because the moment was ruined, I couldn’t deny I was upset, I was never more annoyed at Reem than that moment.
I rushed out of the room and found her and her baby in the living room.
“Reem Halla Sh7alech? What are you doing here?” I asked trying not to sound rude.
Ghaith followed me a few minutes later with an annoyed look on his face, I tried to hide my smile.
“Laish chee you both look like you want to kill me?” she asked pouting, with a clueless expression on her face.
It turned out Reem’s husband felt so guilty for keeping her home for the summer that he was taking her on a Europe tour for the next couple of weeks, of course knowing Reem she had a troop of nannies just to take care of her baby so she would enjoy her time.
“… anyway wain mummy and daddy?” she asked.
Ghaith was telling her about what happened when they walked into the apartment.
As soon as the family reunion started I excused myself, I had to get to class.

“Ouch!” I said as Dalal pinched me, “WTH was that for?”
“For not sealing the deal” She said.
I burst out laughing, “Maybe that was a good thing that Reem showed up”
“Don’t act all innocent with me ou ba3dain what’s stopping you from doing anything”
As if on cue my phone started ringing.
Manal Calling…
What could she want? Dalal stared at me and told me not to pick up but I knew I had to.
“Halla Manal”
“Halla bel 3roos Deema how are you 7beebty?”
“I’m fine” I said but a feeling of dread was building up in my stomach. “Intee sh7alech?”
“I’m good, I’m passing through on my way to the states and I wanted to meet up” What’s up wit all the visitors from back home, I thought to myself.
“Yeah sure, when?”
“Now if that’s good with you”
We arranged to meet up in a café and Dalal wanted to join me so she could give Manal a piece of her mind but I didn’t let her, I needed to clear the air with Manal and this was my chance.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Forever Yours 14

This is an extremely short post, don't hate me!

After college I met up with Ghaith’s mum for some more shopping. She wanted my help picking out something for Reem and after an exhausting two hours we were finally done, we sat in a café to have something to drink.
I was sipping on my latte grinning at the stories from her childhood and how she met her husband when they were kids and neighbors and she said that Ghaith and I reminded her of their own love story.
“Bas Ghaith didn’t love me when we were kids, I remember he used to always make me cry” I said, not angry or sad just stating the facts.
“That’s just because he was jealous of your cousin ilay kanaw ysamounah ‘5a6eebech” Se said laughing, “but you know Ghaith he doesn’t know how to express his feelings well”
I sat there nodding and agreeing with her but my head was about to explode with all the clicking thoughts, it all made sense now, why he was so angry, he was jealous of Thyab.
We went back to the apartment and I went into the room to change and relax a bit. I was so tired from last night that as soon as I lay on the bed I was fast asleep. I woke up sometime later and I got a feeling someone was in the room with me, when I opened my eyes I saw that Ghaith was sitting on the couch using his laptop.
“Hi” he said smiling.
“Hi” I said shyly, Oh God I must look like crap, he saw me lying here probably snoring. Kill me now!
I got up and went to wash my face, I was starving but I was sure they already had dinner without me.
“Are you hungry?” he asked as soon as I got out of the bathroom.
“A little” I lied, I was starving.
“Come on I’ll make you something to eat” He said, I followed him to the kitchen.
As he was making me an omelet, I sat there trying not to stare at him. I looked at him with a new perspective now that I felt there was a connection between us. But I felt so insecure, what if he still had feelings for Manal or if he saw me as a little kid. I could ruin the delicate relationship we had.
When he put the plate in front of me I wanted to eat it all but I sat there self-consciously picking at my food. I was never shy eating in front of Ghaith before but now I was suddenly nervous.
“Agoolech itha my cooking is so bad you don’t have to eat it you know” he said with a hurt look on his face.
I wanted to cry, I was so hungry and now he looked at me like I offended him. I decided to ignore this stupid shyness and eat like I normally would.
“Ok al7een 3yabteeny” he said smiling; this love thing was making me sick I wanted to kill myself. I started blushing like an idiot again.
“Deema shbalach? Is something wrong?” he asked, he put his hand on my forehead to check if I was feverish.
“La I’m fine it’s just I’m tired that’s all”
We went back into the room and I put the pillows on the couch and got ready to sleep when the door opened after a quick knock. It was Ghaith’s mom, she stared at me not understanding the situation and why I was on the couch but she had more important things on her mind.
“7abeeby Ghaith ubook ta3ban and he needs to go to the hospital”, after that they all rushed out of the apartment leaving me sitting there clutching my blanket.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Forever Yours 13

I sat for an hour after Ghaith left frozen in my place, I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed at him or myself. I still wasn’t sure if I did anything wrong or why I cared so much about Ghaith’s opinion of me. That’s what hurt the most, the fact that I disappointed him. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. Deema where are these ideas coming from? Could it be? Did I Love him? The one man I was wasn’t supposed to fall in love with.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Ghaith unlocking the door; he had a huge bunch of flowers in a vase in front of him. Red roses too, he’s such a romantic, I thought to myself with a smile on my face.
“Ghaith thank you but you shouldn’t have” I said smiling shyly.
“E7m well I didn’t, this is for my mother, and you remember I said my family is coming tomorrow” he said, as he put them on a table.
“Oh” I said, I wanted to hit him on the head with those stupid flowers, I knew he was doing this on purpose to piss me off.
“These are for you” He said pulling a smaller bouquet of pink roses from behind his back with a huge grin on his face, he knew I loved the color pink.
I couldn’t help it I ran up to him and gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around his muscular chest, “Thank you” I whispered. For a moment there I thought he hated me and I couldn’t bear it. I could hear his heart beats quicken before he gently pushed me away.
“Deema?” He stared at me intently; his eyes had a million questions he couldn’t ask me.
“I’m sorry” I said before I ran to my room, I wasn’t ready for this. I had never been in love before. Actually I didn’t even believe in love and now it was all happening too fast.
“Deema” He said as he knocked on my door.
I opened it, but I couldn’t look him in the eye, instead I stared at his chest.
“You need to move your things into my room before my parents get here” He said, with a mischievous smile on his face.
Well done Deema, perfect timing for discovering you love the man you’re about to share a room with!
The next morning I got up early to tidy up the apartment, it was already clean thanks to the maid service we had but I didn’t want my in-laws to find anything wrong with the apartment. I made them some juice and arranged their breakfast, by the time they arrived everything was ready. As soon as I saw Ghaith’s mom I went up to her and hugged her, my eyes started to well-up. She reminded me so much of home and my own mother who I didn’t realize I missed so much.
“7abeebty Deema, sh7alech 3asach b’7air? Wallah twalahna 3alaikum” She said hugging me back, I didn’t feel awkward around her since I spent most of my childhood in their home.
We sat with them catching up on the news of people back home, with updates on Reem and her baby boy.
“Inshallah banshouf 3yalkum greeb” Ghaith’s mother said as she showed us pictures in her phone of Reem’s son.
“La Umayah Deema ba3adha 9’3eera” Ghaith said laughing.
I blushed and turned away. This was beyond embarrassing, I felt like a little kid.
I couldn’t wait till this discussion was over.
The day flew by since I was dreading the moment I would have to go into Ghaith’s room. My stomach was full of butterflies; I barely ate anything at lunch or dinner. I went out with Ghaith’s mom to do a little shopping since they were only here for a few days and she didn’t want to miss a moment of shopping, they were going to the US after that so she was shopping for her twins. They just graduated from high school and both went to the States and their parents were going to check on them. I loved Ghaith’s parents they travelled together and still acted like a couple in love, I hope one day Ghaith and I would be like that, such thoughts kept on creeping up on me all day.
Finally the day was over and I just wanted to throw myself into blissful sleep, when I remembered Ghaith. When I went into the room he was already there, sitting outside in the tiny balcony smoking he was already dressed in a vest and pj bottoms.
I took my button up navy blue silk pjs since they were the only long sleeved ones I had and went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and brushed my hair which fell silkily around me. Ghaith was on the couch trying to sleep but he looked so uncomfortable since his feet were hanging over the side.
I went up to him and peeked to see if his eyes were open, my hair fell over his face and I quickly moved back.
“Bismillah!” He said jumping up.
He was so close; I could barely breathe without touching him.
“Sorry” I said “I just wanted to tell you I’ll sleep on the couch since I’m short and it wouldn’t be a problem” I was staring at his feet blabbering. Fashla! He must have thought he was in a Japanese horror movie.
He agreed, and I was lying on the couch four hours later with my eyes still open, thinking of what his mom would think if she saw me. Some time later I fell into restless sleep.
I woke up hugging the pillow and dreaming it was Ghaith, I could almost smell him, I whispered his name and heard ..
“Deema?” I woke up and realized this wasn’t a pillow I was hugging; I could feel him shaking with laughter.
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom; I was never leaving this room!

The next day in college I was telling Dalal about all the drama that happened since I saw her.
“Wallah a7la shay a man that gets protective” She sighed “I would love to have guys fighting over me, anyway shakla my makeover worked!”
I just laughed.
“And now he loves you” she said with a grin.
“Do you really think he does?” I asked shyly, I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks.
“Ha Ha you love him too! 3eraft inich t7ebenah! And you were keeping it a secret from me” She said, with a smug smile on her face.
“Dalal tarany ba’6rebch I’m so exhausted I didn’t sleep at all last night”
“OMG did you two…” Her mouth was hanging open.
“Ya 7mara no we didn’t do anything, I slept on the couch bas I couldn’t sleep because I was nervous I mean it’s different when his parents are halfway across the world not when they’re in the next room” I said “Bas the most embarrassing thing happened to me!”
“Shu?” she asked.
“I woke up in his bed hugging him! Bamoot min il fashla, I think I got up at night to go to the bathroom and fell asleep on the bed, the only good thing was that I didn’t drool all over him. Dalal shu asawee?!”
But she was too busy laughing to answer my question.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Forever Yours 12

This post is dedicated to all the Ghaith Lovers out there ^_^ A7ibkum

From Ghaith’s Point of view:

I stood outside smoking a cigarette trying to get control of my nerves, Ya ‘3abi do you want to ruin your chances with her? I asked myself. It broke my heart to see the woman I loved cry; she looked so young and innocent. I knew it was a bad idea from the start, tricking her into marrying me this way but I knew that she would never accept a proposal from me. She didn’t share my feelings and thought I was in love with her best friend, in other words forbidden. I always had the idea that she would be the person I wanted to share my life with, but when I went to AD this summer I was sure she was the perfect one for me.
When we first met she was sitting outside their house in the hot sun with a wisp of silky black hair escaping from her shaila, her cheeks a gentle shade of pink. She was nervous and shy, but I found myself opening up to her about my hopes and dreams in a way I could never have done with anyone.
Unlike Manal her friend, who tried every trick in the book to get me to talk to her, she even got my number and had the boldness to call me up at all hours. Sending Love messages and songs, but her desperate attempts were lost on me. One day I got so sick of her calls that I picked up ready to shout at her.
“Halla Ghaith, why are you being so mean to me 7bebe can’t you see I’m in love with you”
“Aba 3arf shay intee 9a7ya wela maynoona, where the hell did this love come from! I don’t even know you”
“Bas ana a7ibek from the moment we met outside your house ou I can’t stop thinking of you”
“Law sama7tee ana akrah 7arakat el yehal hay so please don’t call me again”
“Ghaith 7aram 3alaik!” she sobbed.
Oh Shit! Now she’s crying.
“Manal I didn’t want to hurt you but I’m in a relationship with someone else”
“Who is she?! Is she prettier than me?” She asked.
I rolled my eyes, girls were so superficial.
“You don’t know her she’s in the UK so please stop calling me, were in love”
That was the last I heard from Manal but her meddling in my life messed up my plans with Deema. She came to our house and I couldn’t believe my luck the minute I saw her standing at the door hesitating and then trying to run away.
We sat in the garden and she started saying something about Manal, I knew from Reem that they thought Manal broke up with me. I didn’t want to hear that girl’s name but I didn’t want to af’6a7ha either. I couldn’t stop staring at Deema, my heart racing. She looked so beautiful her large eyes mirroring her emotions; she was so scared of being alone with me.
“I don’t want to talk about her!” I said angrily.
“Sorry” She whispered.
“Anway intee ma y’59ech” I said, lighting up another cigarette, I hadn’t felt this nervous around a girl since I was a teenager.
“I know but she’s my friend and I could have warned you about her”
I couldn’t help laughing at her words, like I couldn’t handle a girl like Manal. I wanted to hold her in my arms but I knew she would think I was a crazy pervert.
“I don’t have to put up with this” She said getting up to leave. I could see I had hurt her so I grabbed her wrist, I could feel her pulse racing.
“Wait, don’t leave” I said.
“Ok but I won’t stay if you keep on treating me this way” She said, I hid my grin at her anger.
“Deema you have to understand that I’m not a kid for a girl like that to truly hurt me, it was more of a blow to my ego, but I feel suffocated in AD after what happened and my family is making it very difficult for me to leave”
“Well ... what can you do?”
“I have no idea” I said.
“I can’t bear the thought of marrying a complete stranger and time is running out if I want to start by next semester.”
“Come on Ghaith I’m sure your mum will pick a pretty girl for you”
“It’s not about looks bas ma aba a’9lemha ma3aya, I’m not interested in a relationship right now” I couldn’t tell her about my feelings, she wouldn’t understand.
“Well then you should marry me”She said jokingly “I’d never fall for you”
I stared at her, hurt by her careless words but it gave me an idea.
“Ghaith you know ana amza7 ma3ak right?”
“well Deema that actually gave me a great idea, you know how you always wanted to study abroad, why don’t we make this a reality for you without you having to deal with your family’s strict rules” I couldn’t believe what I was saying.
“Come on Ghaith” She giggled nervously “you can’t be serious”
“Look I promise not to give you any pressure; this is strictly a marriage on paper only.”
“I have to think about it” She said, she got up to go; we traded emails since we decided to finish this online via messenger.
I never did anything crazy like that before, but Deema made me act reckless and nervous, I was crazy about her.I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I finally approached my family to get things official.
Things moved quickly after that, I was happy at the way things were going but unsure of how Deema would react.
On our wedding day I was especially nervous, my friend Tariq had flown in from the UK for the occasion. He sat with me joking and trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t tell anyone about the secret plan with Deema but I told Tariq at the time because I couldn’t handle the stress anymore.
“Ghaith shbalak inta yanait?”
“Laish? she’s too young to understand my reasons”
“La wallah since when is 18 young, banat fy sinha are doing balawee. Plus you don’t want anything impossible”
“La I want a loving wife, not a robot who thinks I’m in love with her best friend”
“Do you think if she knows you’re tricking her she would be ok with it?”
“Maybe if she’s in love with me” I said grinning.
He just laughed.
She was a beautiful bride, and I couldn’t help not telling her that. The wedding night was torture; I couldn’t have imagined how difficult it was to be so close to her and her being my wife and not touching her. I even dreamt of hugging her close and woke up to find it a reality.
After that incident I felt like what I had done was a mistake, my intention was never to hurt Deema. After that I made an effort to leave her alone so that she would feel comfortable. It turned out that I was driving her towards her cousin Thyab all along, I felt like such an idiot. When I got her message this morning I went crazy thinking of all the places she could be. Thyab of all people was a person I despised, we were the same age and both studied abroad but we headed in opposite directions. He was a well known playboy, leaving broken hearts wherever he went. If he even touched her I would have killed him, I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. Now my parents were coming and that would only lead to more complications with Deema, Ghaith you idiot what did you get yourself into!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Forever Yours 11

“Deema stay out of this, hatha bainy ou bainah”
I stood quietly shivering; I’ve never seen Ghaith angry it was something scary.
Thyab got up and raised his hands.
“Look I don’t want to fight you” He said.
“Then stay away from her!” Ghaith said and he dragged me out of the restaurant.

The drive back home was in total silence, I was scared and I couldn’t think of something to say to Ghaith that would make the situation better. His clenched hands on the steering wheel were the only sign of Ghaith’s built up anger.
When we got to the apartment, he sat me down on the couch and sat on the chair facing me.
“Deema adree inich you’re not a child ou insana thakeeya but what you did today was beyond stupid”
“Bas he is my cousin, the only family I have here. Ba3dain we were sitting in a restaurant having lunch, what’s wrong with that?”
“Ou aba afham shay intee laish you’re making me out to be the stranger here?”
“La ma kan qasdee”
“La you know you mean’t it, I’m not your family ou I don’t know what else. Shaklech you need to grow up Deema!” His voice was getting louder, and I couldn’t help it. I burst out into tears.
His phone rang, interrupting our conversation. He got up to answer his phone. He left the room but I couldn’t stop crying. I hated feeling stupid or irresponsible; I was always the one listening to people who did stupid reckless things, not the one who did them. Maybe I was trying to get a reaction out of Ghaith or trying to be rebellious or something, but I didn’t expect this from him.
Ghaith came back into the room looking angrier than before; he sat down and held his head.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, I had the urge to give him a hug, but that would have just made things worse. He looked so angry and tired at the same time.
“My parents are coming for a while, their plane arrives tomorrow morning”
“Ghaith I’m sorry about what happened today-“I started to apologize but my voice broke into a sob, “I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“Deema maybe you think I overreacted but I know guys like Thyab” He turned his face away from me, “ do you know I went crazy trying to track you down when I got a call from a friend who saw you with him he told me it looks like Thyab found a new 9aidah”
“Oh God why do you men have to think like that!” I said, my face burning “I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of your friends but you know me better than that”
“Do I?” he asked sadly.

I started crying again and covered my face with my hands and tried to stop my tears, when I felt Ghaith wrap his arms around me. I froze, I didn’t know how to react, and I desperately wanted to hug him back but held myself back. It was over in the blink of an eye; Ghaith got up and left the apartment.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Forever Yours 10

I knew I cared about him but I think I was just confused and taking Dalal’s words too seriously. I washed my face and changed into my comfiest pjs but I was too restless to sleep so I decided to head to the kitchen to make me some hot chocolate. I could see Ghaith in the living room watching TV but I decided to ignore him.
I didn’t expect him to follow me into the kitchen.
“Deema I think we need to talk about our situation”
“Ok then talk” I said as I took the milk out of the fridge and started heating it up.
“I want to be clear that I wasn’t trying to control you I was just ‘5ayef 3alaich, when I came home and didn’t find you here you had me worried”
“I came into the apartment minutes after you, I even saw you when I was coming down the road” I hinted at what I saw, I didn’t want to say anything about the blonde girl.
“I was here for an hour with my friend and his wife who I wanted you to meet, I think you saw them leaving” he said “bas shaklech kinty jealous” he said with a tiny smile which he tried to hide.
I turned my blushing face and started stirring the chocolate into the milk, I was so embarrassed.
“I wasn’t jealous I was just angry at your double standards, ba3dain hathee awal mara a6la3 feeha min ziman”
“I know I haven’t been spending time with you Deema and it’s just because I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable, I didn’t think you want me around” he said sounding hurt.
“Its ok Ghaith you don’t owe me anything”
“La bil3aks, let me make it up to you we’ll go out to lunch tomorrow, Shu rayech?”
“Lunch? La sorry I have plans with Dalal” I didn’t plan on lying but I couldn’t mention Thyab at a time like this.
“Ok then dinner” he said with a smile.

I didn’t wake up till 11 the next morning since we sat up watching a movie; I made myself a cup of coffee when I got a message from Thyab saying he was looking forward to seeing me again. I started to get ready and dressed in an outfit Dalal picked out for me yesterday, it was a printed dress with a cropped jacket, it was something we both agreed on I liked it because it was soft and comfy and Dalal said the colors made me look pretty. I didn’t want to look too made up so I put on a little moisturizer and pink gloss and a little black eye shadow just on the corners of my eyes to make them stand out.
I planned on telling Ghaith about the lunch today since I felt guilty for lying to him but he was out so I sent him a text:

I’m meeting my cousin Thyab for lunch today,
sorry I didn’t say anything yesterday but I didn’t
want you to get mad. :) I’ll explain later.


When I got to the restaurant Thyab was already waiting for me.
“Halla ib ‘5a6eebty” He said with a devilish grin.
“Halla Thyab, you know you have to stop that, I’m a married woman now” I said but I couldn’t help smiling.
He gave me a cryptic stare, I felt like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.
“How is Ghaith by the way? Does he know about us meeting today?” He asked.
“Yes I told him why?
“Because if I had a wife as beautiful as you I wouldn’t let her go to lunch with another man, especially one like myself”
I tried to laugh off his compliment but it sent my heart racing, his intense stare was distracting.
“Allah y3een your future wife, don’t make me regret meeting you today” I said. Deema you are going to regret this, I felt so stupid.
“Deema I’m messing with you. Latiz3ileen” He said.
“So what are you really doing in the UK?” I asked trying to change the subject. “I thought you were graduating next year”
“I got bored” he said, turning away from me.
I guessed it was a touchy subject; Thayb’s dad was a self made business man who worked hard and built himself an empire. Thyab was the third son and it was expected that he would work for his father without even continuing his education, like all the other guys in his situation, but my uncle insisted that all his sons study and get degrees. Thyab was the black sheep of the family, the playboy who refused to settle down.
I still saw the stubborn little kid who wanted to stand out between his brothers, who were all successful now. I guess he found his own way of standing out. We were the same in that way, we didn’t want to fit into the roles our parents prepared for us.
“So you didn’t know I was getting married?” I asked.
“I’m not really in touch with the family” He said suddenly serious. “Look Deema I want you to know I’m here for you if Ghaith ever does anything to hurt you”
I was just about to defend Ghaith when I saw something push Thyab out of his chair.
“Ghaaaaith!” I screamed.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Forever Yours 9

As I sat there getting my makeup done I was afraid I would look different and not like myself when I heard…

“’5a6ebty is that really you?”
“Oh My God! Thyab?” I screamed in excitement but I knew if I opened my eyes I would totally ruin the eyeliner the woman just finished applying.
“T3arfeen kaif 3eraftech, from that tortured expression on your face, that’s the same look you used to have when they were combing your hair for school”
“Agoolek lat 6ale3 el f’9aye7 law sma7t” I said laughing. I opened my eyes and was shocked to see that my little cousin Thayb wasn’t so little anymore. Of course I knew he grew up but I didn’t expect him to get so handsome. He was tall with broad muscular shoulders, his white polo shirt accentuated his tanned skin, his black hair was short but that just made his piercing hazel eyes stand out all the more.
“What are you doing here?” I asked trying to distract myself so I would stand there with my mouth hanging open, Dalal was doing enough of that for the both of us. I could see she had a million questions to ask me, I could have painted a huge bubble over her head with the word Fiancée in it.
“I needed a change from studying in California so I decided to come to the UK” he said “but I should ask you the same question”
“I’m studying in the UK too” I said with a fake smile on my face.
“Agoolech ma a7eed 3amy was so free before I left, what are you not telling me?”
“Umm well I’m here with my Husband Ghaith Al X, I think you remember him?”
“The little kid I used to beat up for making you cry, you married him?”
I couldn’t stop laughing at Thyab’s expression.
“Ou ba3dain how could you marry him when we were engaged?” He said with a grin on his devilish face.
“Mush chana it’s the wrong place for such a discussion?” I said laughing; we agreed to meet up the next day for lunch so we could catch up on things.

As soon as Thyab left, Dalal hit my arm.
“Owwww! What was that for?”
“9edamteeeny, who is this hot guy? And where do you know him from?”
“Hatha weld 3amee Thyab, I haven’t seen him since we were kids, he’s been studying abroad for a couple of years now, ba3dain the fiancée thing is a joke in our family since he was always protecting me when we were kids, I was kind of daloo3a as a kid”
“And what will Ghaith say about you meeting him for lunch tomorrow?”
“Firstly it’s none of his business and we’re related so it’s not like I’m dating him or something” I said shrugging.
Dalal just raised her eyebrow at me.
I headed back to the apartment feeling confident about this makeover that Dalal gave me and wondering what Ghaith would say about it, as I neared the building I spotted Ghaith outside with a gorgeous tall blonde girl who was getting into a car and waving goodbye, so I guess that was the football match he was heading to in such a hurry this morning.
I don’t know why I suddenly felt so angry and hurt; did I really have feelings for Ghaith after all?
As I stepped into the apartment I tried not to make a noise so I could escape to my room I didn’t want to see him after that.
“Deema where were you?” he asked from behind me, just as I reached my door.
I turned and I could see his surprised expression, which changed to appreciation and then finally to anger.
“Mit3adla 7ag mnu ou 6al3a chee?” He asked angrily.
I felt his words like a slap on the face, “my friend wanted to do something nice for me so we went shopping and tried on makeup and stuff” I said.
“Oh” he said in a calmer voice.
“Ba3dain it’s none of your business who I get dressed up for” I said before turning to go into my room.
“I know I’m not your father but don’t think I don’t have a say in your life” He said.
“It’s not like you care since you’re never here, Shaklek inta ilay you have some girl here!” I said before slamming the door and throwing my self on the bed.
I couldn’t deny the jealousy I felt when I saw Ghaith with that girl, just the thought of him with someone else made me furious, but did I have the right to such feelings, was I really in Love with Ghaith?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Forever Yours 8

I completed five hours on the plane sitting next to Ghaith completely and utterly silent, I didn’t want to look at him, talk to him or even hear his voice. I sat their listening to my iPod staring out the window, when he gently tapped on my shoulder.
I took the earphones out and turned to face him, the look of sadness on his face surprised me.
“Deema Wallah ma kan qasdy shay, I was dreaming and that’s it”
“I just can’t accept that we let it get to that level, I mean I always dreamt of the first night I would sleep in a man’s arms and I wanted it to be the man I married”
“Well we are married, technically”
“adree bas its not real, and I don’t want those lines blurred”
“Ok I’m sorry, please forgive me”
“I guess we just have to be more careful from now on” I turned my face so he wouldn’t see the tears running down my cheeks; I was suddenly overcome with sadness.
“I hope we can work these things out and I want you to be able to trust me”
“I trust you Ghaith it’s just I guess I’m feeling overwhelmed after the stress of the past month”
“At least now we won’t have to act in front of our family” he said.

Ghaith’s three bedroom apartment was gorgeous, it had a classic style with spacious rooms, and I felt comfortable in it instantly. It turned out his father bought this apartment a long time ago. He showed me my room and I loved it, it was pretty and had a few girlish touches, it turned out Reem decorated it during her visits to the UK with her family.
Once we got settled, Ghaith took me out to celebrate our successful plan; he took me to a little Italian place near his apartment which he loved. After dinner we went back to the apartment and I went to my room to sleep since I was exhausted.

Two Months Later

Ghaith and I settled into a routine with him going to classes and my design courses; we barely saw each other these days. He usually went out with his friends and I would sit home alone a lot, I felt him drifting away from me but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for me to pressure him into spending time with me, maybe it was better this way for us but I was getting lonely. I made a few friends from college but I felt out of place without my best friend to guide me, today was a Saturday and since it was a weekend I had plans to improve my friendship with Ghaith by cooking him breakfast for a change. I had everything ready and I was making pancakes when he walked into the kitchen.
“9aba7 il ‘5air Deema, Mashallah 3alaich it looks like you’re having people over or something”
“Actually this is for you, I haven’t seen you for ages and I thought I could cook us breakfast for a change”
“I’m so sorry” he said apologetically, with a sheepish grin on his face “but my friends and I have a football match today and I’m getting late”
I tried to hide my disappointment, “maybe next time then” I said.
As soon as he left the kitchen I took the huge pile of pancakes and threw it in the bin, I didn’t have an appetite for breakfast anymore, I went and changed into a pair of jeans and floaty pink top that wasn’t really suitable since it was cold outside but I didn’t care I wanted to feel pretty and feminine, I put a little gloss on and lined my eyes with kohl.
I wasn’t going to stay home alone any more feeling sorry for myself.
The girls I got to know from college were always trying to get me to go out more but since I was shy I used to refuse, I called up Dalal who was the friendliest of the girls and the one I could call up without worrying about akward silences in the conversation.
“Deema Halla sweetie, you decided to finally get out of your cage”
“Yeah finally I know” I said laughing, we decided to meet up in a coffee shop.

When I got there she was waiting for me, Dalal was a pretty girl from Kuwait with an amazing sense of style, always looked so put together but she never made me feel bad about how I dressed since I always opted for something comfortable instead of pretty.
“Deema you look so pretty today! Finally in something other than those dark colors you wear”
“I wish I had your sense of style” I said shyly. “but seriously I don’t think its worth getting dressed up for college”
“Yeah but you’re married, doesn’t your husband get to see you as pretty as you look today”
I sipped my latte and contemplated whether I should tell her my story, Dalal was a sweet girl but could I trust her? She was very mature and kind and its about time I opened up to someone other than Manal.
I started to tell her little bits of the story but soon it all came pouring out.
“And so now we barely see each other”
“and you’ve been living with this burden for this whole time, you need to win him over, how long are you going to live this lie, what if he finds someone else?” she said “or worse already did, I mean you say he’s never home”
“I doubt it he was really hurt by Manal”
“Wallah you’re so cute and naïve about guys, yallah we need to get you a serious hotness makeover, so we can see if this thing between you and Ghaith has any potential”
“But I’m not interested in Ghaith in that way, I just want us to be friends”
“Friends?! Yallah Deema lets go before I strangle you instead”
Dalal was super stubborn and didn’t give me a chance to defend myself.
She took me shopping first and we bought a few tops in colors I never dreamed of wearing and pants that showed off my curvy shape, and long dresses. We also bought some colorful pretty scarves.
“Dalal bas I’m exhausted and starving” I said, she changed my whole outfit and every time I caught a glimpse of myself I was surprised, she chose a dark purple high necked top, and a soft wool coat and chose a silver belt for me, for the hotness factor, and dark jeans.
“No way were almost done but I have to take you to a makeup counter where they will show you how to bring out those gorgeous eyes of yours”
I sighed but I knew I would be wasting my time by trying to fight her on this.
As I sat there getting my makeup done I was afraid I would look different and not like myself when I heard…